You’re still home. Your grandkids are home. How can we be mindful grandparents and entertain each other?

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Grandparenting: Renew, Relive, Rejoice.

“The moment you accept what troubles you’ve been given, the door will open.”
Rumi

• It is not easy to let go of judgments and expectations, and “accept what is,” especially when we are not pleased with a particular circumstance. We can choose to be miserable or upset, or adjust our attitude and be appreciative of what we have. Self-awareness combined with positive thinking leads to increased tolerance of challenging situations. For example:When we disagree with our grown children’s parenting or disciplining styles, remember we are the grandparents, not the parents. Stop, breathe, bite your tongue.
• When dynamics with in-laws aren’t perfect, stay calm, use good judgment, watch your words, and try to accept them for who they are. Keeping peace is a priority.
• If we are unhappy about how infrequently we see our grandchildren, whether they live close by or far away, take a moment to appreciate any time spent together. Be happy with what you have.
• When we notice that our kids and grandkids demonstrate values different from ours, whether they are socio-cultural, spiritual, familial, personal, material, or political, we must do our best to acknowledge and understand their perspective. Remember, it is their journey.

“Last month I took my two grandsons to a park. I wanted to have some outside time with them. This park has it all—airplanes for viewing, long walkways for scooting, nice trees and grass for sitting, and swings, slides, and a high tower for playing. We brought a picnic lunch and sat eating and watching everything. I saw the sheer fascination and focus on their beautiful faces as the planes took off and landed. At one point, there were no planes coming or going. We sat together not saying a word, just enjoying this quiet time and the beauty of nature.” ~ Memaw

Grandparenting: Renew, Relive, Rejoice.

“Respond from the center of the hurricane, rather than reacting from the chaos of a storm.”
George Mumford

You may have found yourself “reacting” to a stressful situation with yelling or inappropriate language, instead of “responding” calmly. Later you realize you could have handled things differently. You’re not alone. Next time, try this:

• Breathe. Count to four as you inhale. Then count to four as you exhale.
• Begin to slow down.
• Think about what is happening right now.
• Create a space between your feelings and your behavior.
• Think again and decide how to proceed.
• Do you feel calmer and more centered? Hopefully, pausing has given you more clarity on how to respond.
• Now, respond.
• This is a great tool to practice and teach your grandchildren, especially when you or they are having a meltdown.

“A few months ago, I spent several hours with my seven-and-a-half-year-old grandson, Sam. When I took him home, I brought snacks for his younger siblings and fruit for his family. Out of the blue, Sam says to me, ‘Gaga, you do everything for us. I want to do something for you.’ That is the first time I had been acknowledged by him for anything I have done. I’ve recently heard that empathy begins at around seven years. Sam now tells me frequently that I do so much for his family and he wants to do the same for me. It melts my heart.”
~ Gaga

“It was a Sunday night dinner and the whole family was together. Elisabeth, one of our 3 daughters, was making fun of me (as usual), and my granddaughter, Sadie, stopped her and said, “Aunt Lizzy, when you make fun of GG (me), it hurts my feelings because GG and I are the same person.’” ~GG

a special feature from Leslie & Kay, founders Grandparentslink.com

The age in which we live is so ridiculously hectic. Often times we operate on automatic pilot, and forget to stop and “smell the roses’ as the old adage goes. But as ancient as that saying is, so is the idea of how important it is to do so. In a world that runs amuck with everything technological and non-personal… we need to find our personal center, one which allows us to be present, to pay attention so that life is experienced. Thus, the term ‘Mindfulness’ comes into being… a practice that can enable everyone to live in the present moment – from grandparents to moms, dads, and children.

What is Mindfulness you ask? Why is it important? What are the benefits? And how can it be incorporated? The answer is simple:

When you practice mindfulness, you learn to pay attention to what is happening in the present moment, without worrying about the past, or what may happen in the future. Mindfulness encourages you to accept and observe where you are and how you are feeling; to respond to a situation, rather than to react; and to let go of judgments. Many people practice mindfulness meditation, but the most important element for a grandparent is to focus and be attentive when you are with your grandchildren, to not be distracted, and to enjoy the precious moments of just being together. The key is being ‘present’. Check out ‘Mindful Monday’ every week on www.grandparentslink.com, the Home of Mindful Grandparenting.

Here are a few ways to practice mindfulness with your grandchildren:

-Take a walk together. Notice the sounds, smell the flowers, feel the grass under your feet.

-Use the cell phone only for emergencies, and not when you are spending time with them. Enjoy your together moments.

-If your grandchildren experience anxiety or become upset over a particular situation, take a few moments to pause. Just stop, let them breathe, calm down, and then move forward.

-Listen to your grandchildren. Ask them about their highs and lows of the day without commenting. Listening is so very important. Who doesn’t want to be heard?

-Remember you are the role model. Mind your manners and be respectful, and they will learn good habits from you.

– Shed your inhibitions, and play with your grand children. They like to pretend, to dance, to sing. Join them. Let their joy be your joy!

Practicing mindfulness is an effective way to enjoy the journey in life. Try it!